


Haven't Had Enough

by Hawkes_Beginning0



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 14:49:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5131589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hawkes_Beginning0/pseuds/Hawkes_Beginning0
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Janetta Hawke didn't remember who she was or why she woke up in a dark alley, her skin marked with bruises and cuts, and her mind full of unanswered questions. She was forced to try and live a life where only a couple people offered to help her get back on her feet. So when a couple years have gone by, one day she was greeted by a few old 'friends' of hers who are desperate to get her back to her old home, Kirkwall; which she believes doesn't even exist. </p>
<p>When Kirkwall needs her the most, the Champion, Janetta is forced to try and remember her past life, remembering her old love yet falling in love with someone else, as well as saving her home and her family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Haven't Had Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I'm currently very new on this website, but I'm very excited to show some of my works with you all! I'm a big fan of the Dragon Age series, always have been, and I've always loved to imagine what it'd be like if Hawke was fighting alongside the Inquisitor; especially when they fall into the fade drift after fighting the Grey Wardens. Instead of Hawke going into the fade with the Inquisitor and her group, Hawke somehow ends up in the real world (modern time), and is forced to try and live a life that she doesn't really understand. She remembers nothing, so when she goes back to her world and Anders tries to romance her again, she doesn't fall in love with him, but Fenris, (for many reasons). I promise you this will be very thought out and worth your time to read! Thank you all!

_'I like the view from here, it reminds me of my home back in Kirkwall. I had a balcony that overlooked the whole city, yet it didn't seem so nice after I was reminded of all the problems that were occurring there.' I, Janetta Hawke, murmured softly to myself while leaning my elbows against the edge of the stone wall balcony. The Lavellan Inquisitor, Ryain, laughed lightly and crossed her toned, yet thin arms across her chest as she walked towards me, standing by my bent figure._

_'You're lucky you had a single city to manage, I have half of Thedas.'_

_I smirked softly and glanced over at the elf, before straightening myself and then pushed my thick, dark hair back out of my soft blue eyes, that resembled a lot of my siblings. I rested my hands on my hips and took in a deep breath, sighing and then saying, 'You'll get used to it eventually, you seem more of the hero type than I am.' Ryain laughed before rolling her eyes slightly, glancing over at Varric, who was busy trying to clean up Bianca, before looking down at the people who followed her from Haven._

_'Well, does it get any easier?' I heard the woman say, and in response I sighed softly and a small smile rested on my face, 'I'll let you know if it does.'_

_After talking with the Inquisitor, who was actually very great at holding a conversation and was slightly humorous, (Varric was to blame for converting her and I to being very sarcastic and witty), I walked down the steep stone steps with the dwarf and shuddered slightly with a cool breeze hit the back of my neck. Varric grinned and looked up at me as we hit the final step, and then proudly asked,_

_'So, what do you think? I think she holds potential, and I'm very happy to have you help us out.'_

_I smirked and looked down at the man who had gained my trust first when I arrived at Kirkwall, (besides Aveline), and the nodded confidently as I looked up at the Inquisitors tower. As we headed our way up, I took the time to say, 'I really like her, and I like what you guys are doing for the Inquisition. The only thing I'm worried about is her letting the power to her head. Not saying she's like that, but... Of course you know, that in some circumstances, it's very hard to ignore the fact you have so much going for you.'_

_Varric sighed and waved his hand around, and when we reached the large doors that were open, (we could peer into the long hallway that led to the Judgement Chair), he turned to me and touched my arms. I looked down at him and huffed, raising a slim eyebrow. The man smirked up at me, and then said, 'You know of Commander Cullen, right? Well, the ex Templar and the Inquisitor sort of trust each other; A LOT.'_

_My eyes widened and I started to grin, before starting to_ _excitedly whisper to him, 'Are you serious?! Varric, that's GREAT, but she's a mage-,' 'Surprisingly, he got over that. They're together, and practically inseparable. I wonder who that reminds me of?' Varric grinned and wiggled his bushy eyebrows up at me. I blinked curiously, before my heart dropped and my jaw clenched. I gently moved away from his touch and headed down the isle, ignoring the stares I gained from the Haven's townspeople._

_'Hawke! Shit, I'm so sorry... I forgot-,' 'You forgot that Anders left to practically start a Mage Revolution before I came here to Skyhold? I'm a Mage too, Varric, but I didn't want to start any more problems then there already were... The Qunari started it, and I made an effort to end it.' I bitterly responded, my blood boiling beneath my skin, and my teeth were slightly barred. Varric winced slightly and stayed a good distance behind me as I fumed, and we both head through Josephine's office, who greeted us kindly, and we stood in front of the War Room._

_I sighed and leaned against the wall, hanging my head slightly and I stared intensely down at the ground. Varric stood besides me, kicking a rock that was left in here during the construction. 'Look, I didn't mean to struck a nerve... I warned you about him, y'know? Yet you are a big fan of challenges, and Anders was certainly one of them... How about Fenris, did you ever get a hold of him?'_

_'No, I haven't. He wouldn't want to deal with a Mage like me, anyway.' I grumbled instantly, and for some weird reason, that made my heart ache even worse. It was like after all we've been through, my friends and I, we decided to grow a part. I understood the part of moving on with their lives, but after Bethany and my mother passed away, I grew to feel even more alone. I had a Templar brother that only spoke to me if necessarily, and rarely he ever sent me letters to see how I was._

_I didn't have a lot of people there for me, but I tried to make the best out of it. I loved anyone who I came into contact and became my friend, it was the people who I fell deeply in love with that were in trouble. Anders was my first love, and he had warned me from the start he would've just broke my heart. He and I had been through a lot together, and he constantly hated the fact I wanted to befriend Fenris. I always had him around, even though I was a Mage and he couldn't stand my optimistic outlook on life half of the time, he listened, and for that I was grateful._

_I miss them all, and I really missed Aveline's motherly hugs._

_Yet for now, I had to push my feelings back because they would've certainly weakened me if I was in battle. I looked over at Varric and smiled weakly, putting my hand on his head and he glanced up at me curiously._

_'Thank you for being my friend, Varric. No matter what, I'll always trust you. You've been there for me through thick and thin.' I pulled him into my side, which caused him to stutter with a confused, a fluttered expression on his face. He blushed softly and glared up at me with embarrassment, before nodding and nuzzled slightly into my armor._

_'It's not a problem, Hawke. It's a pleasure, as always.'_

* * *

 

_It wasn't until after I joined the Inquisitor in battle against the Grey Wardens that I realized I wanted to go back to my home; Kirkwall. It was a brave thing what the Lavellan Inquisitor was doing, and I felt selfish for hating the way she and Commander Cullen looked at each other before she headed off, clearing the way for their soldiers. I missed having someone looking at me like Cullen looked at her; he NEEDED her alive, to live and to be happy. They really were soulmates, and it made me somewhat regret trying so hard with Anders._

_When a the bud of a sword hit against my chest plate, I snapped out of my trance and gasped loudly, falling back violently and thrashed around to quickly get back up. I growled and my eyes narrowed as a converted Warden stood over me, sword raised an about to strike me. I quickly shot him with a bolt of lightning, making him yell out and fly a good distance away from me. I breathed heavily for air, trying not to think about the trauma that occurred to me in my past. I winced when I had realized finally that I had been cut in a weak spot of my shoulder, the blade finding a dense spot in my armor._

_The Inquisitor panted heavily and hurried towards me, her staff in one hand, and the other other reached out towards me. Her dark red hair stuck to her forehead, sweat coating her neck and face, and she smiled confidently at my exhausted and straut figure, 'Don't tell me that you've given up? You're a lot stronger than the Hawke I've heard in stories. Varric was right; you're stubborn, all so amazing, and you can't give up now. Don't give up on this. You're needed, you need to fight with me. Do it for Kirkwall, do it for Varric. Do it for yourself.'_

_I stared up at her in shock, my blue eyes scanning her chocolate, golden ones, and then I clenched my jaw. I nodded quickly and grabbed her hand with my free one, and thanked her for helping me up. We both twirled our staffs, before we looked at each other and smiled with pride, before fighting for a short time. I saw a lot in her, and she saw a lot of herself in me. We were both heroes in our own ways, and we both envied each other._

_I just wanted her to survive, because in the end she needed to take care of Varric while I headed off to travel the rest of the land. I couldn't stand to tell Varric I would be heading somewhere that wasn't home after all of this, but eventually he'd see me again back in Kirkwall. Hopefully he'd have some adorable dwarf children, and have a beautiful wife by his side._

_I needed to fight for the both of us._

* * *

 

_'INQUISITOR!'_

_I screamed, my eyes wide as I tried to find my balance, and the stone bridge Corypheus's Dragon collapsed on began to crumble beneath our feet. Ryain yelled out in surprise and collapsed, trying to quickly get back up so she could try and run towards me, her hand reaching out. I made a frustrated growl as I tried to run towards her to try and get her to safety. Dorian and the Iron Bull were screaming at us both to hurry, while Stroude and Cassandra were struggling to even stand on their feet._

_'RYAIN! No-!,' My breath escaped my lungs as I felt myself begin to drop from where I once stood. I turned my head and could see the stone blocks falling with us, and I couldn't say anything; couldn't SCREAM. I struggled to try and hold onto my staff as it stayed away from my grasp, and I looked over through the strands of my hair that flew against my face. I caught my breath and finally yelled out, 'DO SOMETHING, ANYONE!'_

_I panicked, and I had never felt that much panic in my life before. I was terrified, terrified of that the fact that if we continued falling that we'd end up hitting the ground that seemed to become closer and closer by the minute. The Inquisitor had a look of pain on her face, and it didn't occur to me she was wounded along the side until she finally opened a rift with all of her strength. She tiredly closed her eyes and Cassandra screamed out her name, and as we all fell into the rift, I was blinded by a green light that would change my life forever._

_I held my breath, closed my eyes, and then suddenly everything went dark, and quiet. Too quiet. It scared me and chilled me to the bone, but eventually I was brave enough to open my eyes once more. When I did, I almost went into shock with what surroundings I was in._

_I was resting on a damp ground, and it reeked of some sort of garbage. I slowly looked around and let out a shaky breath, trying to collect my thoughts before trying to get up. When I tried, I collapsed onto the ground once more, and I let out a frustrated growl. I looked up through my thick, messy hair as a shadow covered my view, and I raised an eyebrow and slowly looked up. A worried looking woman, about my age (22), bent down over me and struggled to find the words that would keep me comforted._

_"Are you okay? You look very... Different. You seem like you don't even belong here. Did you get mugged? Do you have a place to stay?" The blond, short haired woman questioned me quickly, and it became too much so I frowned and burrowed my eyebrows together, waving her off as I let out a pained groan. My hand pressed against my shoulder, blood coating my fingers, and I glared up at her._

_"I don't fucking know, alright?! So, stop with the questions!" I hissed, before leaning against the cool wall, and I huffed softly and squeezed my eyes shut. The stranger winced, and then reached out to touch me, pausing before gently moving my shoulder pad, gasping as she saw my bloody wound._

_"We NEED to get you to the hospital-," "Hospital? What? NO, no no, I'm perfectly fine-,"_

_"Yes, 911? There's a woman hurt, seems like she got stabbed in the shoulder, or s-something... No? I don't know her. She doesn't know anything-..." She paused nervously and looked over at me, and I glared at her, breathing deeply. The woman gulped and then came closer, but I tried to scoot away quickly, only causing me more pain._

_"What's your name?" The woman murmured, trying not to keep the person over the phone waiting for too long. I took in a deep breath, before frowning in realization that... that, I didn't really remember who I was. I just remembered a bright green light, and then darkness. I shrugged and swallowed the lump that was forming in the back of my throat, and then I closed my eyes and whispered, "I don't know."_

_Not long after that, more people came and tried to eagerly get me onto something that would easily transport me to where they would help me. I frantically asked where I was, who they were, and all I got was, 'you're in New York City'. I didn't know what New York City was, and I didn't know how they would help me. I just wanted all my questions answered, but how could that happen when no one knew who I was?_

_It frustrated me, and I just really wanted to punch someone, or something. Yet when I said I wanted to, the strangers said they'd constrict me._

_Whatever that word meant, it didn't make me happy._


End file.
